Well, Love,
you are in my state and I am in yours. I hope you are fulfilled now, I hope the two of you do not grow apart. If you do, if you continue to surprise me and he continues to close in on himself, I will take care of the child when you go back to school. And if you fall out of step with the fanatics around you, well, I will praise god-who-I'd-rather-not-speak-of.
[Remember when we looked for men-of-god? Meaning, of course, men that cared- that knew of carefulness and maybe a higher goal. I have met a few of these lately, they don't talk about god so you would dissmiss them but god seems like an excuse, at best a conductor to say what we really mean, to be who we are, really. Who are you really, Love? Oh, do you remember asking that question and the way Jason asked it with fire or maybe tears in his slanted eyes? ("How are you really?") It is a question, not a greeting. Better to smile and pass. How are you. It's as socially infantile as saying I am well when no one asked. Hi, Franz, I am well.
I am well (you didn't ask). Well, underneath my covers curled closed up around me. I am not sure about some things and I cannot (will not!) decide. If asked I will say no. To be on the safe side, and because it's not so bad-- being alone.
Well. And there are so many options. Men are like college majors. My type varies by term and terms like parenthesis pick one and study three. Well. Don't pick at all. Enjoy your studies but don't declare until everyone you know has graduated (or been married. Well.)
I am so young; sometimes I too old to laugh, too frail to love, too fragile to start again (and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again) Too tired, too old to live. Too young, too unfulfilled: so live another day and maybe that's what life is. [Sorry, Love. Your mind is full of definitions, your linguistic ladder to god: Grace is the blood shed for you, love is patient, love is kind, you are stained, etc. Three ways to check your actions: 1. Prayer, 2. Alignment with the word of god, 3. The prayerful inclinations of the Elders. You are so tired from weighing everything against perfection. Toss my definitions in with all those theologians who explain away the message of everyman.)
What I meant was this: maybe life IS the again and again.
[Remember when we looked for men-of-god? Meaning, of course, men that cared- that knew of carefulness and maybe a higher goal. I have met a few of these lately, they don't talk about god so you would dissmiss them but god seems like an excuse, at best a conductor to say what we really mean, to be who we are, really. Who are you really, Love? Oh, do you remember asking that question and the way Jason asked it with fire or maybe tears in his slanted eyes? ("How are you really?") It is a question, not a greeting. Better to smile and pass. How are you. It's as socially infantile as saying I am well when no one asked. Hi, Franz, I am well.
I am well (you didn't ask). Well, underneath my covers curled closed up around me. I am not sure about some things and I cannot (will not!) decide. If asked I will say no. To be on the safe side, and because it's not so bad-- being alone.
Well. And there are so many options. Men are like college majors. My type varies by term and terms like parenthesis pick one and study three. Well. Don't pick at all. Enjoy your studies but don't declare until everyone you know has graduated (or been married. Well.)
I am so young; sometimes I too old to laugh, too frail to love, too fragile to start again (and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again) Too tired, too old to live. Too young, too unfulfilled: so live another day and maybe that's what life is. [Sorry, Love. Your mind is full of definitions, your linguistic ladder to god: Grace is the blood shed for you, love is patient, love is kind, you are stained, etc. Three ways to check your actions: 1. Prayer, 2. Alignment with the word of god, 3. The prayerful inclinations of the Elders. You are so tired from weighing everything against perfection. Toss my definitions in with all those theologians who explain away the message of everyman.)
What I meant was this: maybe life IS the again and again.
posted by emit's calendar at 12:43 PM
1 Comments:
you don't know it-- and are so far from accepting it--
but you are one of the kindest people I've ever had the honor of knowing.
so roll up tight in your bed and know that so many people agree with me...
all we know though, is all we do not know.
Post a Comment
<< Home